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The Role of Fathers in Raising Daughters

Yesterday “the Mom” over at Shoved to Them had a great story to tell regarding her first-born daughter growing up and entering into a relationship with a very respectful young man:

Last night, my husband got an email from a boy.  Not just any boy, but the nice son of my friend K.  The one who patiently took my 3 year old a dozen times through the penguin house at Sea World.  The kind of boy we all dream that our daughters will be lucky enough to meet someday.

…This boy wrote to introduce himself to my husband.  He listed all his credentials…Catholic, homeschooled, 9 years as an altar server, etc. and then told her father “that he promises” that their conversations will not “pose any problems whatsoever.”  He then asked my husband if it was okay that he continue emailing her and occasionally calling her.  (They live 8 hours away, there will be little if no “face to face” time.)

My husband stared at the computer screen completely flabbergasted.  “He’s asking my permission to write to my daughter?  Who does that any more?” he asked me.

“Boys who respect your daughter,” I told him. Go read the rest here–>

She spends much the rest of the article focusing on how great this young man is and how he has now set the bar for any future suitors for her daughter and she is nearly completely right.

As I was reading this, I was reminded of something my wife tells me all the time (at least since the birth of our first girl), “A daughter will expect to be treated the way her father treats her and the way she sees her father treat her mother. In the eyes of your daughter, you are the perfect man for her.” So, gentlemen, we now have our marching orders, thanks to my lovely wife!

 If we want our daughters to look for a man who will love, honor and respect her and all that God has made her to be, then we must first remind her, through our words and actions, how much she deserves to be loved, honored and respected. We need to remind her of her identity as a child of God and not as an incomplete half to a whole. We need to treat her mother with complete self-giving love and total respect. If we do all this well, then we will already be setting the bar high and all future suitors will have their work cut out for them in trying to match up to the first love of her life.

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Posted by on March 24, 2011 in Children, fatherhood

 

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