It’s Not Hard to Obey

It is not hard to obey when we love the one whom we obey. - Ignatius of Loyola

I just saw the amazing quote above from St. Ignatius of Loyola while I was doing my morning scroll through the office twitter feed and I just had to share it here. I believe that when St. Ignatius had this thought he most likely was thinking about obeying our Lord and doing the will of God. No truer words could be said about that. When we love the Lord, we trust the Lord and we believe that what he asks of us is only for our own good. Therefore, obeying that will is easy. Of course, there are going to be times that DOING the will of God is not easy because he will often ask us to do things that are not possible on our own. In fact, everything the Lord expects of us is not possible to accomplish without his grace. But I digress.

What struck me about this quote is the way it is reflected in my life as a father trying to raise children and help them to their ultimate home in Heaven. What is the one thing anybody with children complains about the most?

“My children just don’t do what I ask them to do? They don’t listen.”

I remember as a little guy myself, I had my own problems listening and obeying my parents. However, what I’m hearing from St. Ignatius today is that, perhaps, my children struggle to obey me because I don’t show them as clearly as I can that I love them. They don’t see day in and day out, in the good times and in the rough times, when they have done everything perfectly and when they have made mistakes, that I love them. How do I respond when things aren’t done perfectly in my house? How do I handle having to pick up their toys and clothes and shoes every single day? Am I showing them love and patience and mercy as the Father has shown me? Am I making it easy for them to love me or am I simply seeking respect?

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe that by showing my kids more patience and love and mercy they will automatically obey my every word. I don’t do that in my relationship with God! I do believe that if they know how much I love them and want what is best for them and that I am trying every day to help them to get to heaven, then, perhaps they will be more likely to trust that, even when I’m asking them to do things that are difficult, they can obey me and there will be a good result for them and for our family. If I can be the type of person that is easy to love, and not the type of person that is easy to fear, then, perhaps,  my children will find it easier to obey.

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Posted by on May 20, 2016 in Uncategorized


The Question About Fasting

wineskinsLent has officially started, and perhaps on your Facebook or Twitter or Instagram feed you have already been inundated with articles and infographs like “40 things to give up this Lent” or “15 Ways to Make the Most out of Lent” or even “10 Things You Shouldn’t Give Up this Lent.” But so many of those articles seem to assume something that I’m not certain it is safe to assume: What is the purpose of fasting?

I am a member of a small prayer group here at the Archdiocese’s central offices and yesterday, on Ash Wednesday we prayed together through Luke 5:33-39 where Jesus is questioned about why his disciples did not fast. Jesus, I think, gives a very interesting response to the question. In typical Jesus fashion, he answers their question with a question, “Can you make the wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come, and when the bridegroom is taken away from them, then they will fast in those days.” He then goes on to give a parable about old wineskins and new wineskins, old cloth and new cloth and old wine and new wine. What does this really tell us about fasting?

At the surface it seems that the initial comment about the bridegroom and the parable about the incompatibility of the new and the old are virtually unrelated, but as we dig a little deeper we start to see what Jesus is trying to tell us. Let’s take first his comments about the bridegroom and his guests. It is apparent here, that Jesus is making a very simple point about the purpose of fasting: it is a means to an end. Fasting is meant to prepare our hearts and condition our wills to enter into a closer relationship with Christ. Of course, the ultimate closeness we all seek is to be with Jesus in heaven. Thus, while he was present among his disciples, there was no need for them to fast, because they were already with him who is the bridegroom and source of all grace. We have not reached that beatific vision, thus, we must fast.

Following that, then, we dive into the parable about the new and the old. In verse 38, Jesus says, “Rather, new wine must be poured into fresh wineskins.” As we make our way toward Easter, the Lord, as he always does, desires to fill us with something new, but before he can do that, we must present him with fresh wineskins to fill. Jesus says that “No one (who has gotten comfortable in the old ways) desires new, for he says ‘The old is good,’” and it is so tempting to become like that. For so many of us, our relationship with Christ has gotten really nice. It’s comfortable and safe, but Jesus desires more; he desires something fresh! Therefore, we must try to detach ourselves from all that stands in the way of his desires, even the good comfortable relationship we currently have with him, and prepare for a new relationship with Christ that would make our old wineskins burst. Through fasting, let us spend the rest of this lent preparing those new wineskins so that, on the day of his Resurrection, we can receive that overwhelming flow of new wine and end our fasting for the bridegroom has returned.

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Posted by on February 11, 2016 in Discipline, Prayer, scripture


Online Ordering and our Heavenly Home

Just yesterday my wife and I decided that for lunch I would order a couple of sandwiches from Potbelly and pick them up on my way home. So, I got on the computer and made our order online, paid for everything and went to the sandwich shop at the time I told them I would arrive. When I got there I went straight to the register, gave them my name, and my name was passed down the line to the person who was to retrieve my food. This was not done silently. Instead, I was greeted with a hearty greeting from each and every one of the restaurant staff, who acted as if I was an old friend or at least a very regular customer (I am neither). Immediately a smile crossed my face as the famous “Norm!” scene from Cheers entered my mind. “You wanna go where everybody knows your name.” Indeed. I think I might be returning (with another online order). 🙂

As I was walking back to my car I was struck with another thought.That’s the kind of greeting all of us are hoping to receive as we enter our true home that has been prepared for us by our Heavenly Father. And yet, it is possible that, based on our actions and the way we respond to the gift of salvation that is being offered to each and every one of us, we will face the Lord on the last day and he will not recognize us. What a terrible and frightening thought that can be and yet, there is great hope, too. Jesus is merciful and in his mercy he has not only granted us the opportunity to spend eternity in heaven with him, he has also given us the tools to help us along the way to salvation. If we have strayed, if we have failed to show love to those we have met, if we have thought more of ourselves and our many needs but less of the needs of our brothers and sisters who have far less, Jesus has granted us the opportunity to do something about that.
Throughout this Jubilee of Mercy, let us seek to be forgiven for our selfishness and our anger. Let us go to him in the sacrament of reconciliation and go to our neighbors asking them to forgive us, too. Let’s explore with the Lord ways that we can truly be instruments of His mercy and generosity and thereby keep our wicks trimmed and our lanterns filled with oil. For me, for starters, that means starting each morning with more prayer and more gratitude and ending it with examination and gratitude. Where we go from here I want to leave to Lord, but it is by his grace that I will be able to do anything and it is through his mercy and love that I can, one day, receive that heavenly greeting where everyone knows my name.

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Posted by on January 14, 2016 in All In, Prayer, scripture


Tired of Boring Sex?

I was driving down the interstate yesterday with my wife and 5 children and as I often do, much to my wife’s chagrin, I was reading the billboards. One billboard in particular stuck out to me because it had only five words and a jarring question: “Are you tired of boring sex?” It was an advertisement for an “adult toys” store and I was blown away by the audacity of the company to put something so direct on a billboard that pretty much anybody over the age of 6 (and probably many 6 year olds) can read even at speeds of 60 mph or higher (let alone during rush hour traffic when the little ones might have time to sound out the words).

Thankfully, none of my children saw the billboard and I had to tell my wife what I had just seen while simultaneously silently exploring my own reaction to it. My first thought apart from the utter disbelief, was curiosity. “What is so boring about sex?” Maybe it’s just me, I thought, but “boring” has never been a word I would even think of to describe sex. So, I asked my wife, who confirmed my assumption that she wouldn’t either. So, why would this company choose that question as the only words on it’s advertising campaign? The answer the company is expecting to get from lots of consumers is, “YES!! I’m sick of boring sex! I need more spice in my sex life?” And that’s when the light bulb came on; sex isn’t about the beautiful union of flesh, the physical representation of the marital union promised on the day of the wedding. It isn’t even about a relationship anymore; sex is simply a form of entertainment. Sex is just another activity, like riding a bike or stamp collecting, that eventually, if you do it often enough, it just gets boring. And what a sad statement that is to make about our culture. How much our culture is missing out because we have diminished one of the most miraculous gifts God has given us, into something so benign as collecting spoons (no offense to those who still find great excitement in spoon collecting).

God has given us the ability to participate in creation! Can you believe that?! I mean seriously! Just stop and think about that for a minute. God, the creator of all the universe, the creator of you and me, he has given us the ability to participate in his creation. We for a few brief moments get to be the instruments of God’s creation! And what an awe inspiring gift that is and, when you think about it, what a terrifying responsibility. You know, it’s kind of a big deal to create something, especially when that something has a purpose and a plan given to him by God.

And that is why the Church is so concerned about sexual purity. The great gift of our sexuality is just that and should be treated as such. It is a great GIFT and not some cheap form of entertainment to be found online for low monthly payments or in some “adult toys” store. The word boring should never be used to describe sex because that is the consumer mentality. Gifts are meant to be enjoyed, certainly, but they are also meant to be used appropriately. Nobody receiving a GPS watch for Christmas would go start using it to hang pictures. Just like that watch has a purpose, so does sex. Sex is meant to be reserved to a man and woman, within the bonds of holy matrimony, pouring out the love of God to one’s spouse in an intimate union that allows God to work through that moment too and when that gift is put to use for its purpose, you find the word “boring” far from the lexicon of that experience.

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Posted by on January 27, 2015 in Uncategorized


Why I Love Being Catholic

Today, while going through my email and checking Facebook for the first time in a few days, I noticed something very exciting. The Archdiocese of Cincinnati is giving away an iPad Mini full of Catholic content! The sweepstakes is easy to enter and there are multiple ways to enter. Go here to find out more about it and all that the Archdiocese is doing to celebrate the Year of Faith!

One of the ways you can enter to win is by commenting on this post and telling the world why you love being Catholic. Well, for those like me who read blogs regularly, leaving extra long comments are not generally good form, even on a post like this. (They generally get skipped over if they are more than about 100 words long.) So, I’ve decided, since there really is so much to say about why I love being Catholic, I should just write my own blog post, like Lindsey Simmons did, and leave my link over there.

So, why do I love being Catholic?


  1. The Eucharist. The key teaching of the faith and the source and summit of all the Catholic Church does. We believe that Jesus, in instituting this sacrament at the Last Supper, truly gave us his body and blood and we continue to re-present his sacrifice at every Mass, every day, every hour throughout the world. In the miracle of the transubstantiation, the changing in substance of the bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ, Jesus shows us at every Mass that he loves us so much and wants to be so close to us as to become nourishment to our very bones.
  2. Mary. No other religion in the world understands Mary’s role in our salvation and her role in the life of the Church today so much as the Catholic Church. Our devotion to her and the honor we bestow on her as our Queen and mother are just a beautiful expression of the depth of the teachings of this Church. Without her great “Yes,” Jesus’ mission would never have come to fruition. Does she not deserve the respect the Church gives her? I say, that’s the very least she deserves.
  3. Its Biblical Roots. Not only was the Church formed in the time of Christ and its inception dictated in the Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles, and its first Papal encyclicals recorded in the letters to the early Church, but the teachings of the Catholic Church can all be found and supported by the Truth found in the Bible. While most teachings also depend heavily on the constant teaching Tradition of the Church, all of them find their inception in the Bible. (Of course, those matters which are new to our specific place in history have teachings whose conclusions were drawn by way of reason from those whose foundations are in the Bible.) It’s spectacular to see when we study the Bible all the connections one can easily make to what the Church teaches today.
  4. Its history. The Catholic Church has been around for over 2000 years and is the only Church instituted by Christ with a direct line of succession to the apostles, whom Jesus picked to form and lead His Church. Throughout those 2000 years it has studied and discussed and taught on nearly every subject that effects our daily lives, and not just once, but studied and re-studied and always it arrives at the truth in love. The position is not always popular, but it is right and true and when we accept those teachings and try to live in accord with those teachings, our lives are all the better for it.
  5. Its Community. Not only is the Church full of wonderful people who love and want to do what is best for all people, especially those who have no one else to care for them and cannot care for themselves, but you can find those people throughout every country in the entire world and we all believe and teach and practice the same faith!! In addition, this community of people doesn’t stop at this world but extends into the next in the communion of saints who are the greatest source of inspiration for us and can show us, by their supreme examples, the way to live today with God’s grace so that we can live in God’s presence eternally in heaven. In addition, the prayerful support we can attain from these saints is nothing short of overwhelming.
  6. Its Sacraments. In addition to the sacrament of the Eucharist, the other six sacraments are like the guideposts and aids for us as we try to live our lives and “become perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect.” The sacrament of reconciliation especially is not there to punish us for doing bad things and it certainly isn’t there to make us fools in front of another human person. It is such a wonderful gift that allows us to be free of those past mistakes and to receive the grace of God to help us to not make those mistakes again. The experience of receiving that absolution from the person of Jesus Christ, whose spirit was given to the priest on his ordination (another great sacrament of the Church) is one of the greatest treasures of our faith.
  7. Its Social Teaching. The Catholic Church is the greatest source of charity in this entire world! It beats the great work of national governments in the amount of aid and support they give to all those in need. They stand on the front lines to protect the unborn and the dignity of every human person. To be part of such an amazing institution is just awesome!
  8. Its Cultural Richness. The number of different people and cultures that make up the Catholic Church is almost innumerable. The number of different traditions and prayers and devotions available to help me to get to know, love and serve my Creator are likewise nearly countless. You can never come to the bottom of the barrel as you draw from the well of the richness of this Catholic faith.
  9. Its expectations. The Church, like Christ, expects us to be holy. To live holy and to enter into heaven at the end of our earthly lives is the goal the Church has set for us, because Jesus set that goal for us. They give us the tools to do it, too! With access to God’s grace in the regular reception of the sacraments, the community of believers with which the Church wants to surround us, the many examples of holy men and women throughout the ages and the volumes upon volumes of spiritual readings and reflections from the saints and those who are still studying these things today, the Church not only expects great things but they give us what we need to reach those expectations with God’s grace.
  10. Its Willingness to Stand Alone. The teachings of the Catholic Church are often unpopular and do not change with the times like so many things in society. However, that has not stopped the Church from standing firm in its teaching and doing so by constantly proclaiming the Truth as has been handed to it by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is reassuring to know that even though so many things are uncertain in this world, I always have a steady foundation in the Church upon which I can rely.

That is just some of why I choose to be Catholic and why I love being Catholic and yet, as I said, there are so many other reasons not mentioned above. The smells and bells of the liturgy, the beautiful way in which the Church’s calendar works, the celebrations, the beauty of its buildings and art…I could go on and on with the little things I love about this Church, but none of that matters if I can’t inspire you with my life. So, why do you love being Catholic? Or, for those who left, what made you stop being Catholic? Or for those who aren’t and have never been, what’s keeping you from being Catholic? I love this Church, I want you to love it, too!

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Posted by on December 6, 2012 in All In, Discipline, Mass, Prayer, scripture, St. Joseph, Virtue


Window Glare

I was in my car on my way back to work during one of those rare sunny days we’ve had this month and I came up to a stop light. Right across the intersection was a car who seemed to slowly move right into the spot where the sun was shining the brightest and send those rays of light beaming right into my pupils. It was painful and there was nothing I could do to get away from it, except squint and turn my head. Of course, turning my head would lead to me missing the light change, so I decided to bear it.

In that moment, though, I had two somewhat profound (for me at least) besides the fact that I should have worn my sunglasses. The first thought is this: this is glimpse of God’s glorious light and I’m called to be that car! Okay, so maybe not that car exactly, but I’m supposed to be reflecting God’s glorious light to the world and I should not be seen. When I looked at that car, even for the briefest second that I could, I didn’t see the windshield or the person inside, I saw the light. The car was simply receiving the light and passing it on in all its splendor. When people see me on the street, when they talk to me in my house, when my kids work with me on their school work or when we make cookies, do they see me, or do they see God working through me? Do they get a glimpse of God’s love pouring out of me into the world or do they get a glimpse of selfishness and anger?

The second thought I had was that despite the imperfections of the car (certainly, this car wasn’t perfectly clean and free from scratches), God was still able to radiate. And so there is a message of hope in here. Despite our imperfections and despite our moments of selfishness and anger, God can still use us and wants to use us to help spread His Love and Mercy and Hope to everyone we meet. Certainly, as was the case when that light hit me, people may be uncomfortable with seeing Christ’s love and light. Some people may even reject it (it certainly was the case when Jesus walked the earth), but we are called to shine nonetheless. Because even when I turned my head, I could still feel the warmth of that light and I knew that it was truly there no matter where I looked.

So, it is my prayer, that throughout the coming Advent season, as we await the coming of Christ’s light into this world, we are all able to prepare ourselves to be the bearers of this great and glorious light and that we are able to carry it boldly to all the people we meet.

God, grant us the grace to be your windshields. 🙂

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Posted by on November 9, 2012 in Virtue


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Patience is a Virtue (that I wish I had)

Below is a post I began writing a couple months ago but until now didn’t get a chance to finish. Reading over the beginning I found that it is as true now (if now more so) as it was then, so I decided to finish it because I need to hear it and it needs to be said.

Attending a beautiful wedding this past Saturday, I was afforded a welcome retreat from the constant movement of taking three kids to Mass. I was actually able to listen to the readings, the psalm and the homily! Of course, it is in those times when we have a chance to listen that God comes in and speaks to our hearts and so it was this time.

The psalm chosen by the wedding couple was one I had heard a thousand times growing up: Psalm 103 “The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, rich in kindness, the Lord is kind and merciful.” While I know this particular version of the psalm is not drawn directly from Psalm 103 as it is meant to be, it struck me how directly this related to my life and the life of the soon to be married couple on their wedding day!

It is something I’ve been reflecting on a great deal, really and hearing it in Church made it all the more prominent. We are the children of God and as children are wont to do, we make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are huge, sometimes they are minor. Sometimes we don’t live up to our potential and yet, how does our God repay us for those failures? With love! With compassion! With Mercy! With overflowing, total self-giving, sacrificial LOVE! 

And here I am, the father of three children, the husband of one amazing wife, and how does my response to my childrens’ mistakes and bad choices compare to God’s? I’ll tell you right now, that it’s not a pretty comparison. Of course, you might say, we can’t expect to be like God, he is perfect, and that is true, but I remember a line in scripture that says, “be perfect, as your heavenly father is perfect.” A lofty goal to be certain, but one toward which we should all be striving. And so it is with fathers in a particular way because…well, we’re fathers. So, the image of God the father that my kids will first see is supposed to be me. If they don’t see me being slow to anger, rich in kindness, full of compassion, how can they be expected to understand that God, who is all knowing and all powerful, is also all merciful, all just and all loving.

I think I just realized my new year’s resolution.

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Posted by on December 30, 2011 in Children, fatherhood, scripture, Virtue


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